Describing the 2016 Presidential Candidates in Three Words (more or less)

My challenge: describe each major (or not so major) presidential candidate in three words. Let’s go.    

Republicans

Jeb Bush: Jeb! Jeb. George…?

Donald Trump: Rich. Orange. Wall.

Republican-Presidential-Candidates-2016
The extensive field of Republican candidates.

Ben Carson: blacker surgeon Trump

Chris Christie: chub a lub

Ted Cruz: despicable because smart

Carly Fiorina: nice face, loser (read in Trump voice)

Rick Santorum: If you squint, looks just like Mitt Romney!

Marco Rubio: Latino+Floridian=votes

Rand Paul: 90s Justin Timberlake

George Pataki: Shitake mushrooms? No?

John Kasich: too moderate to run

Bobby Jindal: the electoral joke

Mike Huckabee: global warming fake

Lindsey Graham: is not a woman

Jim Gilmore: Who? What? Who?

Democrats

WDIV FS Race For The White House Democrat Candidates 2016 Presidential Candidates
Joe Biden inserted for discussion purposes.

Lincoln Chafee: Who? What? Who?

Hillary Clinton: technologically incompetent grandma

Lawrence Lessig: apparently is running

Martin O’Malley: I don’t know

Bernie Sanders: hipster living in an old man’s body

Jim Webb: this may be your biggest form of publicity, so you’re welcome.

Joe Biden: What’s going on?

Well, this has been a fun little exercise. Sorry, I just couldn’t keep it to three words in some cases (@Rick Santorum, you Mitt Romney clone). Please note, I’ve attempted to bash both sides equally here, gotta spread the love.

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