An Ode to Lincoln Chaffee and Jim Webb

Here is an article I had saved on here as a draft AWHILE back. It is now uncovered, released to the public for its viewing pleasure. If you ever remember these two guys, major props to you. (Originally written in October 2015)

My fellow Americans, this past week we lost two noble men to the battlefield of the election. Two decent, hardworking, forgettable Americans. And we owe it to them to salute their work today.

To: Lincoln Davenport Chaffee

Sir, I am so saddened to hear that your campaign never gained the traction to get off the ground. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that your name sounds like a Victorian woman’s. But regardless, you could have been great. I could feel your moment coming; you were definitely about to break that 3% mark. I understand you have other things to do, maybe the run wasn’t the best idea in the first place. But you will be fondly remembered for your enthusiasm and silly name. Good luck.

To: Jim Webb

I guess you just never got your time, my friend. And it was time you well deserved, because you are a war hero, sir, and war heroes deserve to be recognized (though most of the time Donald Trump prefers men who weren’t captured, thank you very much).


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