What the heck? Who are you?

Good question. One I don’t really know the answer to myself, if you want to get deep. Really, who are any of we? Are we even alive? Oh god, I’ve bored you already. I promised myself I would stay away from the existential questions and stick to the ones I can answer, goddamnit Julia. By the questions I can answer, of course I mean why is our political system so corrupt (an excess of bad spray tans is my theory), why is our world so corrupt (not enough spray tans…? I’m looking at you Kim Jong Un), why our country is declining (hint: it all comes down to men with bad spray tans, again) and why, despite this all, America is still the greatest country in the world (nothing to do with spray tans. Sorry, thought I was going somewhere with that one).

But why have you taken on this daunting task, Julia? No one can answer those questions! Especially not a suburban white female who hasn’t even taken Gov yet! Okay, you got me. I’m probably one of the most under qualified people in the world to try and fix the global disaster we call the Earth. I’m a senior in high school. I live in a wealthy, affluent bubble. I don’t claim to understand a lot of politics, but you know what, that doesn’t matter. I certainly know more than our current president. (Ooooooo BURN!)

So what can you expect from this blog? Sarcasm. Mockery. And maybe the occasional insight to something that matters. (Don’t count on it, though.) Anyway, take away from this what you will, and try not to get too offended. There’s a little something called satire, and hopefully from this post alone, you can see that I am a big fan of it.

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